If I asked you, ‘What do you think of yourself?’ Would it be a difficult question for you to answer? Or do you find positive adjectives words flow out of your mouth with ease?
Time and time again, I ask this question to clients with the response being one of bewilderment. Most people don’t know how to say good things about themselves. Most people also don’t feel that it’s okay to say good things about themselves. Also, for the ones who are confident internally, who may think of themselves in a good way, they still might not say it because they’ll be thought to be arrogant.
Let me get this straight. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. When you are confident you are, “feeling or showing confidence in oneself or one’s abilities or qualities”. But when you are arrogant you, “have or are revealing an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities”. The difference is one is based on the truth and the later based on illusion. No-one is ‘better’ than anyone else. We are all human, doing different things, on different journeys. When we’re busy focusing on someone else’s journey, we begin to neglect our own.
Building on your confidence can improve many areas of your life. Different studies have shown confidence has benefited greatly in many areas.
In a study conducted at Goldsmiths University in London, psychologist Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic led a team of researchers in discovering that children with high intellectual confidence tended to receive the best marks in school, regardless of the differences in their individual intelligence or environmental circumstances.
Further, employees who are confident in their jobs excel pass their colleagues, as they are more affirmed in themselves and what they are doing. With less self-doubt at play, they are more focused on the tasks at hand and are better equipped to get the job done.
Confidence is believing in yourself. It is more important to commit to finishing something rather than having the right answer for everything. Likewise, knowing how to do everything isn’t as valuable as a willingness to learn and a belief that you can.
People’s ability to be successful is more reliant on their work ethic and their belief in themselves than their intelligence. People who believe that they can achieve a result, regardless of how difficult it will be because they understand the value of hard work and commitment are virtually unstoppable.
Some cultures embrace confidence more than others. Unfortunately, some people are subjected to growing up in a culture where you aren’t encouraged to embrace yourself in a positive way.
But as with most things in life, this can be changed. If you found that you have gone through life, putting yourself down, not giving yourself a pat on the back for a job well done, or even for being just a great person, START RIGHT NOW.
Think of 5 things that you like about yourself and focus on them. Really focus on them! Appreciate yourself for these things. And if you can, think of 5 more. And moving forward, allow yourself to say good things about yourself.
When someone compliments you, say, ‘Thank You!’ Don’t run in the opposite direction! Believe in yourself and you will become unstoppable!